Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Which way do I turn?

So it's week three and I haven't posted since kick off..

And do you know why?
Because I never kicked off!

I got sick in the first week and I am struggling to start because I am now so far behind...

These thoughts of failure keep telling me I've already lost... I'm not worth it... I'll always be fat... I'll never change...

And even though I know I shouldn't listen I can't help it...

I was SO pumped to start this.. so ready to change.. what happened? I got sick! And I am letting that excuse get the better of me...

What do I do?

Give up? I have a voice screaming in my head saying "It's always too early to give up!" And another one saying "You can't give up what you never started"

I'm off to work now... I don't even know why I bothered posting...

Which way do I turn?

Monday, September 13, 2010



To go with the quotes I posted yesterday I made a little video to go with it.. just to make them sort of more easier to read/watch.

I found the song on the Round 2 wrap up video which I loved...

So here you go guys, enjoy

Optimism and Motivational Quotes :D

To make up for the negative day I had yesterday I would like to share with you all today a list of motivational quotes I have collected over the time...

Please feel free to use them yourself and if you have any good ones of your own feel free to comment I would always love to expand my list :D

 I am the cute yellow one today.. far more optimistic and happy :D


Rule your mind or it will rule you.

No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.

PhotobucketNever, never, never, never give up.

It's not whether you get knocked down;
it's whether you get up.

If you want to look young and thin, hang around old fat people.

Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live.

The difference between try and triumph is just a little umph!

The higher your energy level, the more efficient your body. The more efficient your body, the better you feel and the more you will use your talent to produce outstanding results

You don't drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there

You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it.

You must begin to think of yourself as becoming the person you want to be

Living a healthy lifestyle will only deprive you of poor health, lethargy, and fat.


I Will! I will get through this ... I will put this behind me ... I will move forward stronger ... I Will!

No matter who you are, no matter what you do, you absolutely, positively do have the power to change.

Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.

You're never beaten until you admit it.
Unless You Puke, Faint or Die, Keep Going!

PhotobucketWhen it is dark enough, you can see the stars

PhotobucketThe only thing in this world that is instant is coffee

It is ALWAYS to early to give up

Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough

PhotobucketEverything in moderation! Remember cows get fat on grass!

Do not expect to lose in a few weeks/months what took years to put on.

Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Not having the best day

So I don't know if anyone reads this, and I am not sure if I care whether anyone does or not, just felt like having a rant.

I am having a day filled with self doubt and negative thoughts.

As you will know from previous blogg entries, my "light-bulb" moment was when I stood in front of the mirror and really looked at myself and what I have become. I thought about how disgusting I looked and how I needed to change.

Well I still feel that way. I still feel disgusting but I feel like I will never be able to change. I mean I feel determined enough to lose the weight but feel like it won't change anything and that I will be permanently scarred by the way I have treated my body.
There is so much extra weight I am carrying that my body shouldn't be. I am "Stretched" beyond repair and I don't know if I can shrink back down.

This seemed to make more sense in my head and seems stupid now that I am typing it down ....
Maybe I fear changing because this is all I have ever known, this lifestyle. I don't really know what I'm saying... how is it I feel like I am failing before I have even started?

Thursday, September 9, 2010


*Imitates Michelle*
Hey guys and welcome to another instalment of Foilly's blogg
OK I will stop that now...

I always start these posts with the intention to make them short and sweet but they never end up that way.. lets see how this one goes...

OK so this week has been fun... Back to normal routine at Uni. So Lee-Anne (my friend and my brothers girlfriend) decided it would be a good idea to go to ZUMBA!!!


I was absolutely TERRIFIED

Now as you all know (if you have been reading my blogg (I know it only has one g but I like it with two)) I way well over 100kg... so for me to do something as physical as Zumba had me worried.. I nearly backed out several times... But I was pushed into it so I ended up going... And guess what I LOVED IT!! If anyone is thinking of doing Zumba, do it... if someone as uncoordinated and as heavy as I can do it then so can you... It was one hell of a work out, definitely gets your heart rate up and very sweaty... The music is great and dancing is fun. Plus our instructor was awesome.
I would love to go again, but I just don't see my coordination getting better so I think I will always be the one standing up the back dancing like a loon :P

So if you thought that was impressive... just wait there's more!

My brother and Lee-anne then decided it would be a good idea for me to go swimming... the same day as Zumba.. I was fairly certain I was going to die... I tried to make excuses but luckily my brother didn't fall for it and made me come anyway.
I really do love swimming and I figured I could just float around a bit rather than doing anything huge... My brother swims a km nearly everyday... 20 laps in the 50m pool. So I knew he would make me do more than floating around.
Now like I said early I am not the most coordinated person and swimming is no different. So most of the time I am trying to swim but mostly just looks like I am a flailing fish....
Now I am not very fit so I couldn't even manage to do one full 50m lap without stopping... But overall managed to swim 7 laps, slowly over an hour. So now I have something to aim for.. To be fit enough to swim a whole 50m without stopping.

So by the time I got home that night I was so tired but felt happy at my achievements. Just hoping I can keep it up through the 12wbt program.

The pre-season tasks are going well... successfully told EVERYONE I knew that I was doing it, posted it on facebook and Twitter... My family is really supportive.. they always have been....

My kitchen make-over on the other hand will not happen. I live with my parents so I don't make the decisions about what food comes into the house, if mum wants the packet of Tim Tams and my brother wants bucket loads of Deli style chips then so it will be...
Having said that I will still be eating healthy foods because my mother will buy it for me so I am not worried about that I have been on a diet before and eaten well... Temptation is good I think... reminds me why I am doing this. Well that's what I shall tell myself anyway....

I started a folder, it has spots for my weekly meal plans, my weight measurements, my "Diary" and anything else related to the 12wbt program. I want to keep track of my program to see just how far I come. I reckon it will be great to look back on in just over 12 weeks to see how much I change.

I hope everyone is going well....

I am off to the movies today.. No popcorn or chocolate for me... :D

Until next time

Monday, August 30, 2010

Setting Goals

Setting Goals


This is something that is very important in weight loss goals
I think the image above sums it up. 
"To get started, you must have a destination"

Without somewhere to go, something to aim for, we are less likely to succeed. 

For me, I have always known what I have wanted, what I need. But I found writing them down to be more challenging than I expected. 

My main goal is obvious. To lose 40 - 50 kg. 
Again I know it's not realistic to achieve this in only three months. But I believe if I apply myself then I believe that it is achievable in a year. 

I had my 12 month goal, so I had to break it down, to six months, three months and one month. 
I decided that by the end of the 12 wbt program that I would be able to lose 20kg. I thought it may be a big ask., but I had lost 17 kg by myself earlier this year in around the same amount of time. And that time I was doing it alone without any real understanding of what I should be doing. I am confident that by following the 12wbt program that I will be able to lose 20kg in 12 weeks, after all I am a big girl with a lot to lose. 

I thought that by six months I would have lowed down so I am aiming to lose another 10 - 15 kg in the next three months to bring my total to 30 - 35 kg lost. 
From there I think I can easily lose another 10 - 15 kg in another six months

I feel confident in my ability to do this!
It's great to know that in 12 months time I could be sitting here again, reading through this going
"wow I really did it"

The main reason I want to do the 12wbt challenge is to lose weight. So I didn't really have any other goals...
I know some people want to run a marathon or swim 10000000 laps or something but, for me, I just want to lose weight. If by the end of all this I have the ability to do that then YAY
But trying to set goals to do so was hard. I am someone who has barely done any exercise my entire life. I was never really into sport, and basically always been unfit
Michelle told us to be "SMART" when picking our goals
And that inovolved being realistic.
I just can't set myself goals because I don't know what is realistic for me.

Sure I would LOVE to be able to swim 1000000 laps and be fit enough to run a marathon, but right now I would be happy to be able to swim one lap or run 100m. 


Rewards are just as important in setting goals. 

So my goal is to lose 40-50 kg. So you can imagine I am a rather large person, and all my clothes are large!
So one of the things that I am really looking forward to is to be able to just grab something off the rack and have it fit.
I am determined to have an massive shopping spree when I reach my goal weight and buy myself some fabulous new clothes.
Now I am pretty sure I will have to buy some more clothes before that. So every now and then I will treat myself to a mini shop buying a few new items of clothing.

I also figure I will have earned myself a holiday. In a years time I will be finishing up my nursing degree, so after I finish my degree, and before I start full time work I will treat myself to a holiday, one in which I can show off my new body. 
Maybe the Gold Coast? 
Or on a cruise with some girl friends :D

Thinking about my goals and my rewards has got me so pumped up. I am ready to jump back into it and get working on my weight loss. I know I can succeed with the support of my family, friends and my new found family and friends on 12wbt :D

I am looking forward to following the success of others also doing this program. I hope they can achieve their goals.
Never know, maybe I will take you on my holiday with me :P 

So to summarise:

  • Lose 40-50kg
  • Get into swimming
  • Get into an exercise routine
  • Buy something off the rack that fits
  • Feel more confident in myself
  • Shopping spree
  • Holiday 

Sunday, August 29, 2010

First Blog

It's funny how in today's society and how technological I consider myself that I have never thought to start a blog... I guess I never considered my life interesting enough to post about.

It's not that it's really changed. It's still mostly boring.. but something is about to start that could make it much more interesting....

I am about to undertake the 12WBT program! 

I'm already all signed up and have completed two pre-season tasks.

But before I get into all that a little background on me.

My name is Emilly, but everyone just calls me Foilly, even my parents!
Wondering why that's my name?
A friend typed my name into his phone with dictionary on and because I have two L's in my name it corrected it to Foilly, my friend didn't realise and sent a message with my name like that to someone else and it stuck, I have been Foilly every since. It's odd, unique and I love it. :D I am recently 20 :O Which I find depressing because I am no longer a teenager!!

I have been overweight MOST of my life. I was average size till about year 3... not entirely sure what happened but I got bigger. And as most children are, they are cruel. So I spent the majority of my childhood being teased about my weight and never considered myself to have any "Real" friends.

As I grew older I seemed to get over it. It didn't bother me as much any more. It still hurts when people call me fat BUT I think it's mostly because I know they are right. I tend to laugh it off these days and often insult myself. It's a lot easier than crying.

I gained some awesome friends through high school and found myself not caring what others thought as long as I enjoyed my life and was happy with the way things were going.

But there was a turning point, there was a moment when it all changed. We moved houses (not very far)... We built a house. It's great.... BUT I noticed one thing. The mirror in the bathroom is HUGE!!! In our old house we had a small mirror, one of those little face mirrors. But this one takes up 3/4 of the wall. I got undressed to get in the shower one day and stopped in front of the mirror. I was horrified. I mean I always knew I was fat, but it had never really hit me like that before. I stared at myself for a long time, and did something I probably shouldn't have done.

I started at the top of me and worked my way down trying to name things I liked about myself. The only thing I decided I liked was my eyes. And that's because they are the only thing on my basically that can't get fat... It was a real eye opener.

Another thing happened around the same time, that contributed to this need to change.
I was sitting in the car with my brother who is 13 months younger than me. We were just chatting away and I happened to mention that I thought I was fat. Now I am sure my brother probably won't remember this but I do, and I doubt I will ever forget it. His response was
"Yeah, you are. When are you going to lose weight? You scare me. I am afraid you are going to die."
It took everything in me not to cry then and there. It broke my heart. It was one thing to think I was fat but another to be told by my brother that he was afraid you were going to die.

So I decided that my New Years resolution would be to lose weight. I was determined to do it and determined nothing would stop me and that I would be able to do it on my own.
So on the first of January this year I weighed in and started on my "Lifestyle change"
Now at the beginning of this year I was 19. I weighed in at 141.7 kg.
I nearly quit there. 141.7 kg!!! AT NINETEEN! What had I DONE to myself?!? I have barely started my life and I had felt I had already ruined it.

I went to the doctor to see what a realistic goal weight would be
He said 90kg was where he would be happy.
It seemed so impossible, so far away!

But I didn't give up. I decided I had to TRY!
It started well. I lost 17 kg, but as always something happens.
I got sick, really sick. So sick I couldn't get out of bed without hitting the floor. I spent nearly a month not being able to do much. Saw doctors and had tests but luckily nothing was seriously was wrong. But by the time I was well again I had lost all my routine, all my motivation, was back to the belief that I am just going to stay fat forever.

I hated myself for giving up but couldn't find a spark to get me going again.
Then I heard about the 12WBT challenge and I saw the light! It was just what I needed. The reboot I needed. Something to get me back on track. I debated about whether or not to actually join, but I took the leap and did.

Two tasks down and I am excited for more.
I am already having fun in the forums. And started to take a look at the excuses I have used for so long.

I am hoping that this is what gets me going

I put on nearly 10kg again when I was sick so I have still a long way to go with 40+ kgs before my doctor is happy, but I don't know if I will be happy with 90 but we will see how it goes.
I know that 40+ kg is ridiculously unrealistic goal for 12 weeks but it's not about losing a lot in a small space of time, it's about getting the kick start I need to get me back going on my lifestyle change

I want to be able to look in front of the mirror and like what I see, to go into a shop and take something off the rack that I know will fit and looks fantastic on me.
I notice that the bigger you are the uglier the clothes seem to get, and the more expensive. It's as if they don't think that we care what we look like. Well I DO! And I want to look and feel good! I bought a really cute dress as my "Dream Outfit" It's a size 16, it doesn't sound like much but it's just something I haven't been able to do for years! Fit into something that small!!