It's funny how in today's society and how technological I consider myself that I have never thought to start a blog... I guess I never considered my life interesting enough to post about.
It's not that it's really changed. It's still mostly boring.. but something is about to start that could make it much more interesting....
I am about to undertake the 12WBT program!
I'm already all signed up and have completed two pre-season tasks.
But before I get into all that a little background on me.
My name is Emilly, but everyone just calls me Foilly, even my parents!
Wondering why that's my name?
A friend typed my name into his phone with dictionary on and because I have two L's in my name it corrected it to Foilly, my friend didn't realise and sent a message with my name like that to someone else and it stuck, I have been Foilly every since. It's odd, unique and I love it. :D I am recently 20 :O Which I find depressing because I am no longer a teenager!!
I have been overweight MOST of my life. I was average size till about year 3... not entirely sure what happened but I got bigger. And as most children are, they are cruel. So I spent the majority of my childhood being teased about my weight and never considered myself to have any "Real" friends.
As I grew older I seemed to get over it. It didn't bother me as much any more. It still hurts when people call me fat BUT I think it's mostly because I know they are right. I tend to laugh it off these days and often insult myself. It's a lot easier than crying.
I gained some awesome friends through high school and found myself not caring what others thought as long as I enjoyed my life and was happy with the way things were going.
But there was a turning point, there was a moment when it all changed. We moved houses (not very far)... We built a house. It's great.... BUT I noticed one thing. The mirror in the bathroom is HUGE!!! In our old house we had a small mirror, one of those little face mirrors. But this one takes up 3/4 of the wall. I got undressed to get in the shower one day and stopped in front of the mirror. I was horrified. I mean I always knew I was fat, but it had never really hit me like that before. I stared at myself for a long time, and did something I probably shouldn't have done.
I started at the top of me and worked my way down trying to name things I liked about myself. The only thing I decided I liked was my eyes. And that's because they are the only thing on my basically that can't get fat... It was a real eye opener.
Another thing happened around the same time, that contributed to this need to change.
I was sitting in the car with my brother who is 13 months younger than me. We were just chatting away and I happened to mention that I thought I was fat. Now I am sure my brother probably won't remember this but I do, and I doubt I will ever forget it. His response was
"Yeah, you are. When are you going to lose weight? You scare me. I am afraid you are going to die."
It took everything in me not to cry then and there. It broke my heart. It was one thing to think I was fat but another to be told by my brother that he was afraid you were going to die.
So I decided that my New Years resolution would be to lose weight. I was determined to do it and determined nothing would stop me and that I would be able to do it on my own.
So on the first of January this year I weighed in and started on my "Lifestyle change"
Now at the beginning of this year I was 19. I weighed in at 141.7 kg.
I nearly quit there. 141.7 kg!!! AT NINETEEN! What had I DONE to myself?!? I have barely started my life and I had felt I had already ruined it.
I went to the doctor to see what a realistic goal weight would be
He said 90kg was where he would be happy.
50 KG FIFTY KILOGRAMS!
It seemed so impossible, so far away!
But I didn't give up. I decided I had to TRY!
It started well. I lost 17 kg, but as always something happens.
I got sick, really sick. So sick I couldn't get out of bed without hitting the floor. I spent nearly a month not being able to do much. Saw doctors and had tests but luckily nothing was seriously was wrong. But by the time I was well again I had lost all my routine, all my motivation, was back to the belief that I am just going to stay fat forever.
I hated myself for giving up but couldn't find a spark to get me going again.
Then I heard about the 12WBT challenge and I saw the light! It was just what I needed. The reboot I needed. Something to get me back on track. I debated about whether or not to actually join, but I took the leap and did.
Two tasks down and I am excited for more.
I am already having fun in the forums. And started to take a look at the excuses I have used for so long.
I am hoping that this is what gets me going
I put on nearly 10kg again when I was sick so I have still a long way to go with 40+ kgs before my doctor is happy, but I don't know if I will be happy with 90 but we will see how it goes.
I know that 40+ kg is ridiculously unrealistic goal for 12 weeks but it's not about losing a lot in a small space of time, it's about getting the kick start I need to get me back going on my lifestyle change
I want to be able to look in front of the mirror and like what I see, to go into a shop and take something off the rack that I know will fit and looks fantastic on me.
I notice that the bigger you are the uglier the clothes seem to get, and the more expensive. It's as if they don't think that we care what we look like. Well I DO! And I want to look and feel good! I bought a really cute dress as my "Dream Outfit" It's a size 16, it doesn't sound like much but it's just something I haven't been able to do for years! Fit into something that small!!
BRING IT ON!! I AM READY TO CHANGE!!! JUST YOU WATCH ME!!